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December 18, 2023I want to open with a sincere apology for those who were misguided by “click-bait” headlines. Pope Francis in no way approved of or gave any permissions having anything to do with changing the definition of marriage. Too many people have been lied to and taught bad theology that leads them to believe that marriage can be re-defined. That is not the case. I will try my best below to explain what Pope Francis did in today’s declaration Fiducia Supplicans.
When I was a newly ordained priest, a family member was getting married outside the Catholic Church, and because of our close relationship it was desired that I have some role in the wedding. This cousin of mine stopped believing in the Blessed Trinity a long time ago and while he’s been nothing but supportive of my vocation to the priesthood, he couldn’t care less about the Catholic Church and our way of life. My cousin loves me, I love him, I love his wife (my cousin-in-law) and I too wanted to have some role in their wedding. Since they were getting married outside of the Catholic Church there was very little I could do. Obviously, I couldn’t be an official witness to their marriage. It could have caused scandal and confusion if I stood up in the wedding party or had any role in the “ceremony” at all. I didn’t even wear my clerical clothing to the wedding to avoid potential scandal. What did I do? I offered a prayer before dinner.
What did I pray for in that pre-dinner prayer? I prayed in thanksgiving for the gifts of our families and friends; in thanksgiving for the food we were about to eat; for those who go without food daily; and I prayed for my cousin and his partner that they would have many years of blessings and happiness together. This is exactly the pastoral approach Pope Francis is calling for from all priests and Bishops around the world. My meal prayer did not bless or “sacramentalize” the marriage, or what Canon Law calls an “irregular situation,” my cousin is living. I offered a prayer and blessing over the food, those who go without food, and my family.
If you read what the Holy Father approved of today (12/18/2023) you will either be upset or possibly confused. Pope Francis did not allow for same-sex couples, or those in “irregular situations” like my cousin, to have their relationships “approved” or “blessed” by the Catholic Church. Pope Francis in his pastoral wisdom is asking Deacons, Priests, and Bishops to NOT shy away from or ignore people because of their life choices. Very often after Masses, especially on the weekend, people come up to me and ask me to bless them before they go on a trip, to bless them before a job interview, to bless them on their birthday, even expecting mothers come and ask for a blessing of their recently conceived child. What Pope Francis desires is that all those people receive the blessings they seek, regardless of how they live their life.
The woman seeking a blessing for her unborn child may or may not be married, but she still deserves that blessing, as does her child. A person who is in a same-sex relationship may want a blessing on their birthday, they should be blessed, and Pope Francis is telling us to offer the blessing. An adulterous spouse may come to the priest for a blessing before traveling and their sinful lifestyle shouldn’t prevent them from receiving that blessing. This is the pastoral approach Pope Francis is demanding from the ordained.
I love my cousin and I’m heartbroken he has left the Catholic Church, but there was no reason at all I couldn’t attend his wedding and offer a prayer and blessing over the meal while also praying for him, his wife, and our family. I didn’t “bless” their “irregular situation,” but I did bless them in all other possible ways. This is the pastoral approach Pope Francis desires for the whole world. It’s my experience that most priests and Bishops in the United States share the pastoral approach of Pope Francis, but there are parts of the world that struggle with this.
Let us continue praying for Pope Francis and his ministry as Vicar of Christ. Let us also pray for those who have left the Church for political and selfish reasons. May the God of peace humble their hearts to see the fullness of truth in Jesus Christ.
