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April 22, 2022
We continue this series with the virtue of Temperance.
Philosophers and theologians define this virtue as the way to enjoy pleasurable things in moderation: the right time, right way, and for the right reasons. While not all things that bring us pleasure are sinful, practicing the virtue of temperance helps us to enjoy pleasurable things and know when to stop before they become sinful. Let’s start with an easy example: food.
Food is obviously not evil. We need food to survive! Now, while eating food is not sinful in and of itself, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, and we need to make sure we don’t cross the line from eating and enjoying food into gluttony. I love eating food and I love experiencing new restaurants and trying new dishes. Nothing about that is sinful, except for when I overindulge and cross the line into the sin of gluttony. A recent example is from a couple months ago when I met some of my friends at the delicious Fogo de Chao. If you have been to this restaurant, you know it’s very difficult to not cross the line from enjoying the delicious food into gluttony. That night we all crossed that line, and we knew it almost immediately. If we had practiced the virtue of temperance, we would have turned our card from green to red a lot sooner.
Now let’s talk about a more difficult topic: sex. Do you remember what God’s first commandment was? “Be fertile and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28) Obviously, since having sex is the first law God gave Adam and Eve, sex in and of itself is not sinful; however, the purpose of sex is found within that first law: the multiplication of humans. While sex is pleasurable, it is not meant for pleasure alone. This is why sex is reserved for men and women who have the Sacramental vocation of Marriage. Practicing the virtue of temperance helps us practice chastity for those who are single and married. Since sex is reserved for men and women called to the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, temperance helps them to live their vocation to the fullest by not using contraception, which prohibits the naturally divine purpose of marriage: procreation. When contraception is used within the Sacrament of Marriage, sex is purely for pleasure and the married couple are now reduced to two “things” giving each other pleasure. There is no longer a full and complete gift of self, a part of the self is literally covered or chemically compromised. For those of us who are not called to the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, we’re called to practice chastity by not having sex at all, since we’re not making vows that completely commit ourselves to another person until death. Temperance helps us to have chaste and holy friendships with others until we know we’re called to the vocation of Holy Matrimony and have discerned a partner to move in that direction with. Temperance then helps those who are dating to remain chaste and keep Christ at the center of their relationship.
How do we practice the virtue of temperance? As I’ve said before, it takes practice. Temperance is especially hard in our American cultural context because many of us are used to instant gratification and chasing pleasure every chance we get. Food and drink are not difficult to find or indulge in; getting drunk is not seen as a negative quality until it’s an addiction; pornography is readily available and the youngest age kids view porn for the first time is 6 or 7 (NY Times, 2012); and sex sans commitment is the new norm with marriages at an all-time low alongside the growth of the “hook-up culture.” Obviously practicing temperance is difficult seeing how easily we can access pleasurable things. As intentional disciples of Jesus, we must swim against the current and practice temperance as best we can.
Start by praying the rosary daily. Our Lady and St. Joseph are terrific models of temperance, as well as all the other virtues. Praying the rosary daily and seeking the intercession of the Holy Family will help you grow in all the virtues. Second, start by practicing temperance in the little things: knowing when to stop eating and stop drinking when you’ve hit your limit with alcohol. After praying the rosary daily and practicing temperance in the little things, you will notice something within yourself when you’ve been on social media too long, when you feel the temptation to grab your phone off the nightstand when you can’t fall asleep, when you realize you’re avoiding work via other distractions. Temperance helps you to enjoy the pleasures of life without falling into sin and turning away from God, who is love. God wants us to feel pleasure! God created and allowed for many things in this world to give us pleasure! Monks make beer and whiskey; no one knows how to gamble better than Catholics; every gathering we host has food; Catholics are known for having fun! But that fun needs to be tempered with virtue as we’re always trying to grow in holiness.
Need to grow in the virtue of temperance? Start praying the rosary every day.
Finally, the last of the Cardinal Virtues, Fortitude.
To live a virtuous life with the Cardinal Virtues as our priority, it takes great fortitude to be prudent, just, and temperate. Fortitude (synonymous with courage) is the virtue that looks past the difficulties one will face and encourages us to live virtuously regardless of what may come our way. In our increasingly secular culture, fortitude is needed to speak truth in a very confused society.
Fortitude is necessary because it’s very difficult to have intelligent and courteous debates with someone who disagrees with you. I’ve personally seen way too often a debate turn salty when one party starts to condemn the other for disagreeing. When trying to speak truth, you can quickly be called racist, a bigot, sexist, evil, etc. No longer do we argue the actual argument, now we (as a society) attack the person themselves who are making the argument. Someone who speaks the truth that there are two genders among humans is marked as an evil person who has “transphobia.” Someone who speaks the truth that human life begins at conception and abortion is murder is a misogynist, sexist, and/or woman hater (even if that person is a woman herself). The list of ways people are attacked, rather than the argument, for speaking a truth and trying to show people a different way can go on and on.
It's obvious where the defense of attacking the person rather than the argument comes from: when the argument is true, it’s hard to argue against it. Even those who are too kind to attack a person will promote their reality of what they think is true by using emotions to win their argument. This is where they explain that because their family member is somehow involved in the topic of your discussion, then you can’t argue against me because I have a family member involved. That’s the equivalent of saying my brother robbed a bank because he was broke so it’s ok to rob a bank when you really need the money. If you try to convince me otherwise, you must hate my brother and all poor people who desire the strength to rob a bank. NO! That’s ridiculous! Robbing a bank is wrong! Stealing is wrong!
Fortitude helps us to look past the personal attacks, the loss of friendships, the “cancelation” we will endure, and even the loss of business for businessowners to pursue and speak the truth into a society and culture that is going off the rails. BUT REMEMBER, we still need to use the other virtues to help us speak the truth. Fortitude is not the all-clear to be a jerk! Being a jerk is NOT virtuous. Yes, fortitude gives one the motivation and ability to speak truth, but we need to do it prudently. Remember the rules I shared a month ago with Prudence:
Does this NEED to be said?
Does this need to be said BY ME?
Does this need to be said by me RIGHT NOW?
Until you answer yes to all those questions, it is prudent for you to keep your mouth shut. If you can answer yes to all three questions, it is prudent for you to say something, and you may need the virtue of fortitude to say it. Fortitude by no means overrides the three rules above. If the thing you want to say shouldn’t be said by you, if it needs to be said at all, then do not say it.
How do we grow in this virtue? Just like the others, it takes practice. Before practicing this virtue to speak truth into our secular culture, practice this virtue by being an intentional disciple of Jesus. Pray for fortitude to say grace before every meal, even when your family is out at a restaurant or you’re with co-workers or friends. Pray for fortitude to talk about your faith, how the Eucharist helps you to be more like Jesus Christ, how you love coming to Holy Mass and developing a life of prayer. Pray for fortitude to invite others to Holy Mass with you/your family. Practice fortitude when it comes to evangelization THEN you will grow in confidence and in the virtue to speak truth boldly and prudently.
Fortitude is a powerful virtue when used properly and with the other Cardinal Virtues. Pray for an increase in these virtues and practice them daily!
